


The Pattern That is Bursting Your Bubble

by elsalapizza (lamerezouille)



Series: SPN Fluff Bingo [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Getting Together, Humor, M/M, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 16:26:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16141049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamerezouille/pseuds/elsalapizza
Summary: Dean doesn't have a good experience with Serious Conversations (capitalization intended). His solution is to interrupt those by using his lips (but not for talking).





	The Pattern That is Bursting Your Bubble

**Author's Note:**

> Square #1 fill on my SPN Fluff Bingo card "Kissed to keep quiet"  
> Title from the song "Walk Idiot Walk" by The Hives

If Dean really thinks about it, this whole situation has to be somewhat his fault.

After all, from the most minor inconveniences to the apocalypse, bad things generally are his fault. And it’s true: if Dean hadn’t sold his soul and gone to hell, Cas wouldn’t have needed to get him out, and get tangled in all his shit. And now, after ten years of commuting from heaven to earth and back through little detours by purgatory and the empty, here they are, with Cas here with them in the bunker and it’s good, it is. The happiest moments Dean’s lived in a long time. And it would be all perfect really, if only Dean didn’t have the tendency to just…cause problems.

Problems like falling in love with his best friend, who happens to be a freaking Angel of the Lord ™. Well, not falling in love per se—after all, it would be lying to say this ship hasn’t sailed for a long-ass time now—but more…realizing he’s fallen in love. Because once he knows he’s in love, he also notices all the ways he’s acting like a complete buffoon. Like giggling at stupid things Cas says, and how much he’s staring at him, at his eyes, at his lips. Has he always stared so much? He’s no idea, and he also has no idea how to stop.

So yeah. He’s in love with Cas and he’s finally aware of it, and it could all be dandy if Cas wasn’t an angel and the universe hadn’t made it quite clear that human-angel relationships were a big no-no. Also, Cas has the unfortunate habit of taking off at the most importune times, to rescue heaven or orphans and such. Dean has never ever, ever liked it, but now that he actually knows why being without Cas is so hurtful, he’s fucking scared that Cas might leave sometimes for good.

So yeah, things are bad and it’s Dean’s fault because when he’s not mooning like a moron every time Cas enters the room, he’s occupied stressing out and looking anxiously at the ceiling instead of sleeping, in the fear that the longer Cas is here with them embracing the Team Free Will status quo, the closer it gets to him upping and leaving to who-knows-where to do who-knows-what.

And, the thing is, Dean has no idea what to do about it except moping in his room and in the kitchen, and anywhere really. Moping can be a very mobile activity, he’s discovered.

So when the thing he dreads the most is about to happen, when Cas comes to him with his coat on and a serious expression, when he opens his mouth and is for certain about to tell Dean that, yeah life on earth’s been nice and all but nothing like the sweet, sweet nectar of heaven, because Dean has only been moping instead of preparing for it or keeping it from happening, panic makes him do the first thing that comes to his mind. Well, actually, the only thing that has been on his mind for quite some time.

In the hope that it will make him stay, Dean kisses Cas.

Dean kisses Cas, and there’s a high probability that Cas is going to punch him, or reject him, or look him with this very sad look he has sometimes, and tell him that he does love him, but like a friend—nay a brother (something else that would be Dean's fault), and what can Dean answer to that? Cas is going to leave anyway so Dean might as well enjoy the kiss as much as he can.

But what Dean didn’t expect to happen—and honestly who is he kidding, he didn’t expect anything to happen—is that Cas actually kisses him back.

So that’s how the whole thing starts. And by the whole thing, Dean means his romantic relationship with Cas, but also Dean’s pavlovian reflex to kiss Cas as soon as he feels something like a Serious Conversation is about to take place. Because Dean doesn’t know much about relationships, but he knows that Serious Conversations are never good. No. Serious Conversations mean “I can’t believe you’re such a coward, Dean”, or “This isn’t going to work, Dean”, or “Please stay away from me forever, Dean”. And the worst of all: “I’m going back to heaven and I don’t know if you’re worth ever coming back, Dean”. So Dean decides now and forever that he’s never letting it happen. He’s lost Cas in the past and he’s not letting it happen ever again.

~~

They’ve been doing it for a while (and by it Dean means kissing and touching and even sometimes holding hands, but at no point whatsoever having any serious conversation), when Sam asks the question, one morning during breakfast. Dean doesn’t register it immediately because his attention is fixed on Castiel’s cheek, where he just wiped off some adorably misplaced jam, but when he does, something inside him freezes.

“So what,” Sam has just asked between two bites of toast, “are the two of you a couple now? Should I introduce Cas to people as my brother’s boyfriend?”

Sam is clearly teasing. He’s got his shit-eating, annoying little brother look, the kind that usually doesn’t deserve more of a response than a well-raised finger.

The problem is, Cas hasn’t grown up with Sam and doesn’t recognize Sam’s question as unworthy of his attention. Cas, it seems, actually has an answer ready for Sam because he’s taken this thoughtful look, and Dean starts to feel panic rising from his chest to his throat. He cannot let Cas answer. And he doesn’t know what he fears the most: Cas saying yes, or Cas saying no, but he knows that whatever comes out of his mouth, it’s going to be Serious™ and Dean doesn’t want any of that.

So Dean leans over the table, slides his hand behind Cas’s neck and kisses him right on the mouth. Cas doesn’t seem too fazed by this interruption and responds enthusiastically, his tongue slipping pretty willingly inside Dean’s mouth. It’s only after a few more delicious moments of that that Dean realizes Sam is clearing his throat pretty loudly.

“Is there something you wanted, Sammy?” Dean asks, separating from Cas only for an instant.

Sam seems to understand he’s being dismissed, so he doesn’t press. Dean hears him getting up and taking hold of his plate. He also hears Sam grumble something along the lines of, “I guess this answers my question pretty well,” but he chooses to ignore it.

~~

They’re making out in Dean’s room, heavily groping and mussing his bed covers, and Dean feels pretty awesome. There’s been no more signs of any serious talk happening, no way-too-perceptive questions from Sam either. In fact nothing has changed much from before: there are still the same people to save, cases to solve, monsters to hunt. There’s just a little more kissing and touching and smiling. A little more happy.

Cas is moaning contentedly, the sounds reverberating against Dean's mouth. Dean could live on these moans, he’s certain. But then, suddenly, Cas’s lips aren’t on Dean’s anymore and Dean can feel Cas’s gaze bore onto him. It’s his serious look, the one most people—people who don’t know him like Dean does—think is threatening. Right now, Dean feels threatened nonetheless. His rational brain knows that Cas wouldn’t choose this context to break up with him, or tell him he wants to be a real angel again, or that he’s sick of this bunker and wants to go visit the world, preferably without Dean. But there’s this voice inside his head that still whispers the same thing: that serious conversations are when Dean gets his heart broken.

So the only thing Dean can think of to do to prevent any “Dean, your kisses are good, but righteous fighting on Heaven's behalf is better” from leaving Cas's mouth, is surprisingly not more kissing (this is exactly what they were doing so obviously Dean has to step up his game). No, what Dean thinks to do is giving Cas his first ever blowjob.

(It also is, coincidentally, Dean's first ever blowjob that he's giving, but any anxiety about that seems to have left the building for ever and ever, so that's that.)

~~

Things come to a head (well, another kind of head than the one Dean regularly gives Cas nowadays) one night on a hunt. Dean and Cas are sitting in the Impala, staking out some poor bastard who may or may not soon turn into a rugaru.

And Dean is actually, you know, working, and paying attention to the place where some poor sod might decide to start eating his kids’ flesh at any moment, instead of paying attention to Cas’s lips as he's aware he’s known to do once in a while. All of this to say that, when Cas says a very ominous “Dean,” Dean cannot actually start making out with him and possibly losing his butt virginity in the front seat of the impala. The image sure has some appeal on the degree of how hot it would be, but also he's not 100% sure his Baby would forgive him for having awkward first-time buttsex on her very clean and cared for leather upholstery.

Also, there are lives at stake here. This is not the time. They're supposed to be watching this dude's house, not having hot, athletic sex. And certainly not having a Conversation™ where Cas seriously tells Dean that things have been fun while they lasted, but this is a time for the adios.

And while Dean is having a mild panic attack thinking about all of the things that'll go wrong if Cas goes on talking, Cas, for once uninterrupted, manages to actually go on talking. “I realize that you may not want to hear this as you've been interrupting me in more and more pleasurable ways every time I have tried to say it—not that I minded any of these interruptions—but I need to tell you that I love you, Dean. I hope to stay with you forever, because I cannot fathom life—be it an angel or a human one—without you by my side.”

Okay. Dean did not expect this at all. But Dean doesn't have the time necessary to come up with a response, or even to actually comprehend what has just been said to him, ’cause there suddenly is a strident scream coming from inside the house, meaning a rugaru on the loose, and you know. Work to be done.

~~

When they get back to their motel room that night, Dean still hasn’t addressed what Cas told him in the car. Hell, he’s not sure he’s really managed to process it yet either, so that’s not entirely surprising. For his defense, he was busy saving a little girl from literally getting eaten by her stepfather so he thinks he deserves a bit of slack.

Sam, bless his bitchy little heart, has had the brilliant idea to make himself scarce so it’s only Cas and Dean in the room for now.

Cas doesn’t seem fazed at all. He’s going about his business, hanging his coat on the back of the crappy motel chair like he didn’t completely upend Dean’s whole world just a few hours ago. The coat’s obviously too long for that chair and Dean automatically goes to grab it and put it some place it won’t gather all the dust in the world.

It’s right at this moment, right in the middle of the most domestic thing he’s ever done, that it strikes Dean.

Dean’s an idiot.

’Cause that’s definitely _not_ the most domestic thing he’s ever done. With Cas, he does that shit all the time. And he’s done it for a long time. Except now they also kiss and they have sex and they hold hands, and neither Sam, nor anyone else finds it the least bit weird.

Cas doesn’t want to have a serious talk ’cause he wants to leave and never come back. Cas actually wants to have a serious talk ’cause he’s not as much of a dumbass as Dean is, and he’s actually caught on to the fact that they’re a bona fide couple.

Cas wants to have a serious talk, ’cause, Dean and Cas, as a couple, are serious.

Also Cas definitely did manage to have his serious talk back in the impala. Cas told Dean he loved him.

There’s only one thing to answer to that: the truth. A truth he’s actually known for a little while now, but never admitted because he was just too scared. He wouldn’t say the fear’s completely gone, but just the realization that serious conversations have the potential to actually be good too.

“I love you too,” Dean ends up saying midway between the chair and the bed, Cas’s coat still in his hands.

And just as he’s about to add _And I’m an idiot_ , which is also very true, Cas cuts him off with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> [rebloggable on tumblr ♥](http://elsalapizza.tumblr.com/post/178600975288/fic-the-pattern-that-is-bursting-your-bubble)


End file.
